I grew up going to the library with my grandma, who is one of those people who was simply born to be a teacher. She would take me to multiple branches in our county, both in and out of school (she was my teacher for a few years). Back then, my love of books was uncomplicated. I rarely bought copies of books I read because, even if the library didn’t have what I wanted the day I visited, I knew the nice ladies at the desk could magically get them for me. I’d find plastic-covered books I’d never heard of, and I’d be overly excited to bring them home with me.
It wasn’t until I was older that I began to hoard books and display the ones I read like trophies. I can’t specifically say when I transitioned from a happy library visitor to an obsessive book collector, but I think there is a culprit behind the turn my reading habits took: Goodreads. I downloaded the app sometime in high school, and that decision eventually led to my current “Want to Read” list of 685 books. Last year, I read 67 books. If I manage to read the same amount in the years to come, it would take me over 10 years to finish that list.
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There are several problems with that 10-year estimation. First, I own hundreds of books, many of which I haven’t read yet. A lot of the books on my shelves (and in the stacks that won’t fit on them) aren’t in my Want to Read list because I use it as a way to remember books I see that look interesting. I don’t need to remember a book if it’s already at my house and in my sight every day. So, if I set out to complete my Want to Read list, what should I do with all the books on my shelves?
The thing is, I had genuine excitement to read each of my owned books when I acquired it. Even so, it seems to take no time at all for a new book to blend into all my others. When there is an entire world of books to scroll through on Goodreads, how am I supposed to be satisfied with the ones I see offscreen?
The Goodreads Reading Challenge
Last year, I decided to participate in Goodreads’ reading challenge for the first time. If you haven’t done it, it’s essentially a way to record how many books you would like to read in a given year. It’s all fun and games and fits perfectly into the “new year, new me” sentiment everyone has around New Year’s. For some people, it stays fun and games. I have friends on Goodreads who have already finished their yearly reading challenges because they picked reasonable numbers. I, however, am struggling.
I was a bit misleading when I said that I read 67 books last year. That’s the number Goodreads recorded, but I was still getting my Bachelor of Arts in English at the time, and I read a lot of short stories in my classes. Not wanting to forget the individual stories, I began marking them as “read” in the app, which essentially marked each 10-page or less story as an entire book in my reading challenge, making as much of an impact as 600-page novels I read during the summer. I forgot all about these short stories when I set this year’s goal to read 60 books.
When I checked my Goodreads challenge progress two weeks ago, I was horrified to see that I was six books behind schedule. I know it’s only June, but that felt like a hopeless number. How am I supposed to climb my way out? That was what I kept thinking as I saw the horrifying report. Decreasing the number of books in my challenge didn’t feel like an option because I didn’t want the people who followed me to see that I was giving up, as if they remembered or even knew that 60 was my goal.
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I ran to my library’s app on my phone and looked for the shortest books I had previously saved on it. Within a week, I had read multiple audiobooks, all playing at an increased speed. I told my family I was in a “reading-only” zone. Now, as I’m over halfway done with the audio version of Ernest Hemingway’s The Old Man and the Sea, I’m on track to be caught up by the end of the week. While it’s rewarding, I’m starting to question how this reading challenge and Goodreads, in general, is shaping my relationship with books.
Why Am I Reading?
This is the question I have to ask myself as I near “on schedule” status in my reading challenge. A couple of my friends also listen to audiobooks, and last weekend we discussed what speeds we prefer. I personally go for a 1.25x reading speed, which sparked a debate about how fast is too fast. One of my friends said she often listens at either 1.75x or double the original speed! I was shocked that she was able to retain anything when the narrator reads that fast because that’s definitely impressive. We went back and forth for a while about what kinds of books need slower or faster narration. I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer about preferred reading speeds, but, for me, there is a right attitude about reading itself. One that I haven’t been practicing lately.
The young version of me who perused library shelves didn’t care how many books she read a year. When she picked up a book, she was invested in it alone. Now, as I read whatever book I’m currently getting through, all I can think about is what I’m going to read next.
I think about all the books I’ve heard people talk about, and half of my mind is thinking about jumping to one of those while reading the book in my hand. As a writer myself, I can’t help but think that this isn’t how I’d want anyone to read my words. I’d want the same childlike attention I gave to Lemony Snicket and Suzanne Collins.
As much as I love Goodreads, I know the way I’ve used it has contributed to my inattention. I originally downloaded the app as a way to greater appreciate the books I read by leaving ratings and reviews and being able to see what my friends are reading. Looking at my overflowing shelves now, I want to return to that mindset. Instead of scrolling on Goodreads to find more books to buy, I want to slow down.
Read reviews fellow reviewers have left, like my friends reading updates. After all, reading is a way for us to hear and connect with each other. This is why I’m reading in the first place. So, Goodreads, I’m trying to catch up on my reading challenge. If I don’t get caught up by the year’s end, just know it’s because I’ve decided to take my time and enjoy the sights. I’m tired of making reading an endless sprint.