"But it's a good book!"…. in awful condition

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Most book dealers state they take books in “good” condition.  Some customers have an interesting definition of “good.”  Many of these arguments on “why won’t you buy this hideous book?” end up with the customer arguing “but its a good book!” and telling you all about the wonderful story and how it moved them.  This is all well and good, but when the book is missing both covers and smells of cat pee, you generally don’t want it, no matter what the contents are like.  If it’s a truly rare manuscript entirely valuable for its writing, then perhaps you can learn to love the smell of urine… but it never is. How hard the person argues “but it’s a good book!” is inversely proportional to how valuable it is. The person with the coverless Danielle Steel that you can smell from six feet away is the one that wants to argue about value.

Sometimes you wonder how they missed just how awful it was.  If they’ve clearly tossed all the loose books in a box and you find one the dog ate, that is understandable.  Or one in the box has a warped cover from coffee. Everybody misses one or two.  It’s the ones that bring you an entire box that appears to have had a nest of incontinent weasels in it that you wonder about.  Why are they bringing it to you? Do they really think you’ll buy it?

The boxes that smell clearly of mildew are the most perplexing.  I’m not super sensitive to mildew, but have had customers come in with boxes that made my eyes water and nose clog from six feet away.  How the heck did they pick it up and carry it around without noticing?  How did they drive over in a car without dying of respiratory failure?

But really, this is all a lead up to showing you a picture of an awful book.  I’m unsure of the original source, it’s just been all over the internet recently.  No explanation of where it was found.  I have nightmares that this book will arrive at the store.  “But it’s a good book! It’s The Good Book!”

Bible growing mushrooms
Bible growing mushrooms

NO, I DON’T CARE HOW “GOOD” IT IS, IT’S GROWING MUSHROOMS!!!

I have personally had people bring in books covered in visible layers of mold “fur”, but never actual mushrooms.  But I’m sure a mushroom covered book will show up one day…

11 thoughts on “"But it's a good book!"…. in awful condition”

  1. Yes! I always wondered why no one seemed to rant on the condition of books when buying them from people. I was worried that it was only the people who came into my bookstore that lost all common sense. I work at a bookstore buying books and get all those classic examples of terrible conditions.

    Books with mold, falling apart in sections, soaking wet, books held together by masking tape/duct tape or littered with more post it/sticky notes than there are pages, Books covered in lotion at least I was hoping it was lotion…..

    And I get the “I bought it that way…..” and they expect me to accept it and still take it! And the main customer base is students and professors from a prestigious university!! Seriously?

  3. hahaha those are the well know psychedelic mushroom called psilocybe cubensis. I know because I am a well seasoned mycologist.

  4. Yup, sean is right. That was an experiment that a cultivator did to see if animal tissue would be a source of contamination. So you people dont need to worry. I HIGHLY doubt a book will start to grow mushrooms just from being kept in dirty conditions.

      • everyone who grows mushrooms knows who made this bible.

        also it was done to this particular bible because it was printed in china. the mycologist is sort of anti-child labor

        :hehehe:

        btw, HI BYC

      • The guy who did this is a mod on a mushroom forum. He has also grown mushrooms off money. This was abible pasteurized and layered with mushroom spawn. Then alloud to colonize a bit before placing into fruiting conditions.

  7. I’ve always wondered why that picture hadn’t circulated more.

    That’s one Bible I wouldn’t mind having around more

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