At The Heart of the Matter

vintageheartSo in some TV show, a man grips his left arm, makes some kind of inarticulate grunt, and falls down, dead. No question for the viewer what just happened. The man had a massive heart attack. We all know searing chest and arm pain are the symptoms for attacks that kill or nearly do. Guess what–not always for women. Women usually don’t have the classic heart attack symptoms which is why so many of us die unattended. I have been told over the years that nausea and lightheadedness are signs of a heart attack. Given my age, and my mother’s own angina, which is another way of saying blocked arteries, I am at risk for a heart attack. Oh, hell, everyone who is alive is at risk for an attack, especially those who are not exactly exercise nuts and vegetarians. Anyway, once a few years back i felt so awful I called my doctor, a thing I rarely do. She didn’t like the symptoms and I went to the emergency room. That is, I arrived after my mother had changed into appropriate wear, the dogs were fed, lights left on for them, and keys, and purse were located. In that time frame, a whole football stadium could have died of heart attacks. That’s another factoid I learned–do not wait. Do not hesitate to call an ambulance if you believe you are under siege. (turns out I had some kind of virus never specified) Well, some responders didn’t get the memo on women’s heart health. Last Sunday, I had symptoms that corresponded with those I was told could kill you. Yet, I hesitated. Naturally. Because a woman doesn’t want to look silly, a hypochondriac, an hysteric just because she can’t stand without dizziness, nausea, with pressure below the sternum and aching all over. Thing is–that could be any number of problems. Or, it could be death. What do you do? If pain shot down my arm, I damn well would have yelled attack at the top of my tonsils and the husband would have dialed as fast as an iphone can be dialed, or touched. Not having such a definitive symptom, I quietly tried to keep myself upright while googling female heart attack symptoms, hoping that there would be a really crucial one I didn’t possess, to end my fear and speculation so I could go lie down. Instead I read a doctor’s account of her own disregard for symptoms, and her warning–most women go to bed at night feeling ill, and never get up again.

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