One of the cool things about AbeBooks.com, is the theme e-mails they send to customers, like myself. I use bookfinder.com, which in turn sends me to various internet used book sellers on Abe and other large sites. Before the invention of the internet, it could take months, sometimes years for a wanted book to be found. But with the internet, snap! There it is. Ok, so what about those odd titles you may have seen once and not again, but you’d really love to own. Not to fret–on Abe every subject for every reader is covered.
For the crafter: Toilet Paper Origimi; How to Preserve Animal and other Specimens in Clear Plastic; or get ready for the inevitable; Do-It-Yourself Coffins for Pets and People.
And what about something for courageous cooks? Simply Seaweed: A Book of Tempting Recipes for Samphire, Seaweed, and Sea Vegetables; Critter Cuisine; or my favorite, The Radiation Recipe Book. I bet we’d get a real bang out of that book!
Certainly self-help books are essential. Who wouldn’t benefit from The Pop-Up Book of Phobias? And we all need– Old Age, It’s Cause And Prevention. If we could only find the root cause of old age, darnnit! I see a telethon in the making!
And forget those counselors. all you need is: How to Be Happy Though Married. For the girls a little practical help: A Stress Analysis of a Strapless Gown. On the spiritual plane, Do It Yourself Holy Housewifery.
Strictly for the guys: How To Understand A Woman Through Her Cats. Here’s a caring and thoughtful title–Teach Your Wife to Be A Widow; and the ever popular misogynist bible-Let’s Make Mary: Being a Gentleman’s Guide to Scientific Seduction in Eight Easy Lessons. Come on fellas it only requires 8 lessons, AND it’s scientific, how can you lose? (a kick in the royal jewels by the enraged Mary, doesn’t count)
To loosely quote someone “if we don’t study history, we are destined to repeat it”. Hey, I got the gist of it. Anyway, no self respecting historian would miss reading: Death in the Pot; the Impact of Food Poisoning on History; Knitted Historical Figures; and Who’s Who in British Beheadings. The last two could be consulted to create Anne Boleyn, knitted severed head and all!
Of course the religious aspect of life is never ignored. There are many wonderful spiritual guides listed: So You Want to Be A Shaman; The Beverly Hillbillies Bible Study; (I believe Granny goes after sinning readers with a shotgun) and Jewish Chess Masters on Stamps (if you can name just one-this book is for you) are but a few.
And last but never least, our pets. How we love to pamper and spoil them. A few fun picks: Bombproof Your Horse; 101 More Uses for a Dead Cat (I guess the ‘get to know women through their cats’, didn’t help); and Goats: Homeopathic Remedies. The last one confuses me. Is it about cures for some goat disease, or are we supposed to be *using* goats as homeopathic remedies?
Oh, you don’t think that ever happens? You’ve never known a person who just refuses to accept his death, no matter how many times he’s shown the tombstone and gravesite? Well, how do you think *they feel*? The book tells you:
“When people die by accident, in violence, or maybe they’re drunk, stoned, or angry, they get freeze-framed. Even if they die naturally but have no clue what to expect, they might not notice they’re dead. It’s frustrating to see and not be seen. It’s frustrating to not know what you’re supposed to do next. It’s especially frustrating to be in someone else’s body and think it’s your own. That’s if you’re dead. If you’re alive and that spirit has attached itself to you, well that’s a whole other set of frustrations.”
Heck yeah! That’s if you’re dead. If some bum spirit attaches itself to you, brother, that’s another kettle of weird fish!
Check out the two pages full of offbeat titles on Abe–